brief(ly) so far - is it still too "visiony"?

hi guys, here is what i have so far... 

i know that i need to still address the super pragmatics and room schedule.

ammon you told me i needed to make my initial statement of intention less 'salesman' - is it less so now? i tried to write it as if the cathedral had the idea of the musuem and were telling me what they want it to be. i.e. 'tapestry museum should be...' 

Upvote Upvoted 0
3 responses
Ben Just a brief comment from me. Add floor areas and budgets,  Detail more spaces and include some of the qualities to consider in the main ones - physical social sensual visibility spatial syntax? The tone is getting better, but I'd suggest you do the move you just made another 3 times. Put the fluffy stuff in a more introductory paragraph then make the rest more boring and open to interpretation and creative intent. Go further.
I like the ideas so far. I get the tapestry, but what is it's boring name for the brief?  Public archive? Library of social history? The tapestry idea and spatial ideas are your value add
Bring a schematic design proposal on Tuesday A
— Ammon Beyerle
Thanks Ammon, I'll get onto it. I hope...
— ben-jay-man
I really like the way this idea is evolving. What is this function hall? The ngv has the 'great hall' which on the brief might have said 'function space' but was imagined by Grounds as something incredible for incredible functions both public and private! I can't wait to see what you do with it!
— Tim